fibromommy

I went on vacation with my almost 2 year old and my almost 4 year old and my mom.  My kids were pretty good as far as the flight went, and my mom did pretty good too considering she also has fibromyalgia and was super worn out.  The first flight out of Minot was fine.  No big deal.  The kids did great, but we had to jump on another flight at the Minneapolis Airport and that was horrible.  Absolutely horrible.  The airport was big.  Our gate was on the complete opposite side from where we landed and by the time we got to that gate, they changed our flight to a different gate, way back where we started from, and by the time we got back to where we started from, they changed the gate…AGAIN…on the complete opposite side AGAIN.  We couldn’t catch the carts that were transporting people….but on our last little jaunt one of them stopped and offered us a ride…GOD WAS WATCHING US AND TOOK PITY.  We were sweating and red and worn out from hauling the kids, diaper bags and our on flight luggage.  THEN we finally get to our destination and went to see my brother and his wife and drop mom off to them and pick up my neice.

We barbecued at my brothers and the kids hung out in the yard and when the ice cream truck came…my neice knew exactly what it was….and off we go to the ICE CREAM TRUCK!!  It was cool….but the dude driving…slurred his speech and was smoking and I’m positive he was drunk…but Levi had already seen the ice cream truck so we had to get some…thankfully they were individually wrapped.lol.  After supper we went to my sister’s house where the kids could be kids and were able to run and play.

We let the kids go outside and play and have fun and be kids.  I got to cuddle my twin neices…5 months old and absolutely beautiful.  The next day we took the kids and met up with my mom and my brother and his wife at the mall.  They had a huge play area with a carousel and other rides and fun things for kids to do and my brother was nice enough to take the kids and let them run and have fun while my mom, my sister and my brother’s wife and I shopped with my little Ruby and the twins.  I didn’t get a whole lot of stuff there but it was fun.  In the meanwhile…I have been doing pretty good with my fibro.  My pain was there but it was so bearable I thought I was in heaven.  We decided to go and before that we took the kids to a giant bungee cord and trampoline set up and Levi and my neice did that and they were so happy…they jumped way up into the air and were suspended by the bungee cords.  THEN>>>down came the Kansas rain…and it came fast and was standing on the sidewalks…we had five kids and five adults to get into vehicles while trying so hard to stay somewhat dry.  We failed.  We were soaken wet. 

Then that night my sister got a babysitter and we went out on the town and wound up down at a Karaoke Bar, where she sang so beautifully broken wing by Martina McBride.  After a couple of drinks…I also sang.  I am not a public singer, so instead of trying to make it pretty, I made it funny and boy was it funny.  I got up on the stage and this is what I said….”Hi all…my name is Sarah and I am from Montana, this isn’t going to be as pretty as Martina over there.  This is how the hicks from the sticks do it…a little jingaling called my dingaling.”  By the time I had finished, every time I said, “MY!” the whole bar sang back….”DINGALING”….hilarious.  You have to know me to know that doing something like that to get a laugh out of people is one of my things….I love to make people happy.  I wish I could have been a stand up comic or something but I have to be drunk to be in front of people.

Anyways…so the next morning, my sister treated me to the spa and she joined me.  We spent 8 hours at the spa being pampered and waited on.  We got body scrubs, stone massages, sat in a jacuzzi tub for 30 minutes, then we ate lunch…which was catered in to us, after lunch we got our facials, then off to our manicures, pedicures and Bare Minerals make UNDER.  It was wonderful. 

Then, we came home.  The kids were driving gramma and uncle and auntie crazy….babies were crazy, kids were fighting over gramma.  It wasn’t good.

Sunday we went to the zoo and I started to go down hill….I was doing so well so I tried to play it off like I wasn’t hurting but it was pretty obvious.  We were only able to do half of the zoo, because it took too long to get through the thing…it was huge.  Levi wanted to see the lions, that’s all he talked about was the lions.  At the end, the lions were there and a lioness came walking up to the glass….it was very…what’s the word….amazing.  She looked so big and so powerful and the only thing between us was the glass….so awesome. 

Monday and Tuesday gramma stayed with my sister and me and all of the kids.  She is such a wonderful person that the kids fought for her attention all day long every day.   This threw mom into a flare.  My sister and I went shopping on Monday with the babies and the other kids went to daycare.  While I got some very cool things and got some very GREAT deals on shoes and clothes…I also got a flare.  So on Tuesday I was on edge very bad.  I could barely walk by the time we got on the plane to come home.  I was so worn out.  The night before we left we went to an amazing restaurant.  It had huge dinosaurs that were mechanical.  Levi is a massive dinosaur freak…so this was his time.  He had a great time.  My brother again…the wonderful person he is, took the kids to look around.  He is so good with my children and they love him so much.  My daughter also took to his wife very much…she really liked her aunties…both of them, my sister and my brother’s wife.  Anyways…the food was fantastic and the restaurant was so much fun.  I wish we would have gone sooner so we could have looked around a little more.

It is the day after we came home and I am in a ton of pain.  I HAD to go out and get some groceries and took on of my very best friends to lunch because she has been so very helpful to me with my kids and my home.  She volunteered to come along with me to get groceries and this helped me to keep my mind off of my pain so much…although…I did have to stop in my tracks, literally, because of a pain that was shooting into my thighs.  Super painful.  So bad in fact, that I had to fight back the tears.  I finally got home and unloaded the groceries, but all I could put away was my cold groceries and the frozen foods, and my home is trashed even though my husband had the house cleaned, it doesn’t look like it was.  I came home to a nice clean house and I wasn’t able to keep it up for him.  I am exhausted and my kids are at the babysitters house and I feel like a bad mom because I am not ready to go get them.  I feel so worn out and am in so much pain….I am barely able to take care of myself, and I am sure she wants me to come and get them, but I can’t yet and I feel like I can’t be mom today…physically.  This is the hardest part of my fibromyalgia.  Feeling like I can’t be the wife and mom I feel like my family needs.  I can’t pick up Ruby and that is all she wants….mommy.  I can’t have anything on my skin…my clothes hurt today and my hips hurt when I stand and when I sit and when I lay.  My skin hurts….it hurts.  I can’t wait for this flare to get over and get back to my normal pain…my everyday pain.  This pain is bearly being managed by my pain meds….it is barely taking the edge off of my pain and it is doing nothing for the skin pain…just the hip pain.  I am worn out and I am sad and I am tired of feeling this way already.  It’s so depressing to know that I am going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life…but on the positive side….I am starting to have more time between flares.  They aren’t as often as they used to be….but they are just as intense and painful.

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